DEAR KEL:
“How do I get through the holidays when I’m now estranged from my family after my brother and father have passed and I was close with them but not my mom and sister?”
Sincerely, Stuck in a Rut
Dear Stuck in a Rut:
This is indeed a challenge and weighs heavy on your heart. Sometimes it feels the family of origin is not capable of filling the shoes we think they should. But I assure you, what remains, out-pictures a new opportunity that, like a diamond in its creation, pressures us to shine.
To create some wiggle room inside you and open the heart, begin by breathing. Breathe in life. Breathe in the love that you still have for and from your father and brother. Breathe in the blessings you have known and continue to recognize in those beautiful connections. These are alive and well and are not gone!
Yes, your breath may feel constricted. It may be hard at first to breathe fully and deeply. But that is momentary. Take time to gently breathe in the energy of expansion, to sit still long enough to create more space within you to come to know a greater truth and be able to come to see things just a bit differently. Start with where you are and from there begin to see anew. Please be willing to do this day-to-day for 10-15 minutes at a time. The rewards will be well worth the effort!
Once your breathing feels comfortable and doable, then move on to this next step (do keep doing your breathing!).
During the holidays, find time to really go deep within, deep in to the heart of you and love, love, love those parts that feel so unloved by the women in your life. BE the woman that loves the child that feels so unloved. Ask her what she needs to feel loved and be committed to doing everything in your power (big or small) that you can so she feels your dependable, unconditional, ever-giving love.
Once she feels this, she will relax. She will begin to heal the hurts felt so deeply and a new healing journey will begin.
You’ve got this. This “stuckness” is needing more air (aka wiggle room) to create movement forward within.
I send you deep love and angle blessings,
Kel
