Dear Kelly:

“How do I not host my family this year for Thanksgiving and Christmas as I do every year?”

IN A DILEMMA

Dear In A Dilemma:

Clearly you are hoping for a happy resolution.  Good for you.  So, let’s start here.

Maybe it’s a bridge too far.  Consider for a moment, it’s not the entire event you’re not enjoying but rather parts of it.  Identify what parts you’d like to change and introduce the change incrementally – confidently and decidedly.  Remember, a gentle, gradual approach can yield powerful results that create more harmony.  But first, find your inner peace, then share.

Do consider the outcome.  Before requesting, make sure you want what the change(s) will bring you and if you want it long-term or short-term.  Be clear when you communicate.

Play an internal game at your next gathering.  Most of us don’t realize what we don’t like in our family members is what we bury inside ourselves.  Identify what exactly you don’t like that you experience at the holiday get-togethers and love, heal or forgive it in yourself.  Once you clear the triggers in you, either you won’t mind hosting, you’ll only host when you want (because you resolved the issue within you) or you won’t need to host any more family holidays.

See this dilemma as serving you.  This situation wants you to learn something about yourself.  It’s not trying to teach you how bad others can be or how to complain louder or how to do things someone else’s way.  No.  It’s helping you discover who you are, what you prefer and how to stand in your loving power through your voice and choice.